Tag Archives: patience

But I digress…

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A very compelling question to begin the day.

There are a number of those that have cast an impression upon me, in their way, ultimately soliciting a positive outcome in my life. Some are instantaneous in nature, sort of a spontaneous combustion event. While there are those that were merely planted, left and took months, years or decades to germinate and come to fruition.

Moments, interactions and relationships can assume an identity all their own, playing out a role that may not be readily apparent. There are those that bring with them an open and genuine level of honesty and positivity. Meant for one’s immediate care and benefit. Delivered with complete integrity, humility and a love born of servanthood to all those in need.

The impact of those interactions are immediately apparent. And I can name many that were there in that fashion, precisely when I desperately needed it.

One in particular was so in tune with my wellbeing, that he somehow called me, out of the blue, precisely during one of my worst moments, simply because he wanted me to know that he was there for me. No matter what. To this day, I remain touched by this level of loving care. The fact that I just shared this event with all of you brings tears to my eyes, despite the fact it happened well over a decade ago.

Then, there are those lessons one encounters that begin more with a somewhat arbitrary sense of conviction and desire, because its “how I did it and it works, so you should do it too.” Born more of convention or convenience. Just because. And depending on the current circumstances in one’s life, one might be more apt to surrender a bit oneself to become like them. Join the clique. Be a member of the “team”.

At first, things may reap the rewards yearned for, creating a false sense of “I made it.” But as the cost to your true being is accounted for, things slip away and you can descend into realms that taint, harm and destroy. There might be ways to assuage this sense of loss and losing recognition of who it is you were to start. But ultimately, it becomes a lesson of redemption and rebirth. An interaction that cast a cloud of negativity over you and your life. But ultimately, in the final analysis, led you to where you were meant to be.

Just as I am indebted to those who have touched my soul in ways I never imagined, I too am grateful that others have led me to tough lessons in self realization and affirmation. Perhaps they were never intended to be how I accepted them. But despite the negative origins, they too became a positive and lasting influence on me. And to those men, I am also grateful for being a part of my journey.

I tend to digress once pen is in hand. But with regard to the basis of the prompt, “describe a man who has positively impacted your life”, without a doubt, he would be Him. God.

It was He that suggested that many fellow coach should call precisely when I needed to hear his voice and feel his love. And it was He that allowed me to exercise my free will, albeit poor in execution, while remaining right next to me as I rebuilt and found my true way forward in life. He brought all those other men in and out of my life, when they were needed, then not, so that I could finally find this man.

The one sharing this prompt on one of the best days ever.

According to His plan.

But I digress…

But theirs.

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Daily writing prompt
Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.
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Since I am involved in coaching, whether it be Special Olympics, job development for those with diverse abilities or good old football, I would have to say the first day of a season or the first meeting with a new associate is the best day. Days that really aren’t ever one and done. But moments that build and transition into other first days.

A first practice allows you to witness the work they have embraced in the off-season, weightroom, classroom, community and home. You get to see what they are beoming, the yearning to take those next steps to become something more for the team. Whether it is a scout, one that comes off the bench, or a leader that never comes off the field. As a coach, you get to help guide them along a path of their choosing. It is you that can help them see something bigger than themselves and then realize that vision.

Then if you remain connected, you can watch them do the same in college and their initial foray into the business world, whether employee or entrepeneur.

A first meeting to discuss job development is in many ways the same. You can learn of the progress they have made in their life despite their challenges. Whether they are at home, or gaining independence within a group community, you can see their excitement to learn, grow and become something more than they ever have been before.

Perhaps they start in the back of a business, learning the ropes. Maybe that gives them all the contentment and growth they need. Others may want to work there way up and out to the front. Filling in for teammates that are out or have elected to move on. Maybe they see themselves becoming the one that opens the door and turns on the lights each day.

It is coaching that takes place on other venues. It is still all about guiding them along a path of their choosing. But if you can see something bigger in themselves than they realize, you get to share that vision with them, and help them to grow into it.

It can be difficult to remember or recall all of the firsts I had throughout my life. But there is truly something to be said to be a part in those of others. For that reason, I am blessed to be able to participate in so many “firsts”.

Not so much mine.

But theirs.

With him.

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Today’s reflection shared a story of a mother and her seven sons from the book of 2 Maccabees 7:1, 20-31. They were being tormented, tortured and murdered by Antiochus, one by one, one in front of the other, because they would not give themselves up to what he said they needed to be. Despite his vain offers of false glory, prestige, standing and power, to a person they deferred and accepted their end on earth so that they may live on in eternity.

I don’t think it is so much that I am looking for new meanings in things I hear or read. After spending much of my life headed in my direction, because I wanted to, of course because I am right and the rest of you can deal with it, let’s just say that my commanding, know it all inner Antiochus voice now has some truly loving company. Offering a more compelling way of living out my days.

When you hear things in that tone and tenor, it is like taking a deep breath, taking a step back, removing the “life vision goggles” and experiencing the moment as it truly is.

Wonderful.

That is, wonder-full.

The voice of Antiochus that had ruled my way of being and was intent on doing so for the rest of it has faded into the noise of the background. Another, that had been patiently waiting in the wings has resonated in my soul and spirit, in a symphony of love and understanding. It is that voice I now hear. One that has overcome the cacophony of selfishness, ego and self-righteousness.

So you can never really know when something totally life changing will occur. The latest one for me was today at about 7:29 AM, in the kitchen, watching the sun come up. With any luck, maybe there will be a return engagement later this morning, afternoon or tonight when the stars come out.

The Antiochus’ in your life may seem to be all powerful. But they consist of the things you really need not possess to fully live.

Tell him “no thank you”.

Embrace His voice.

Move towards life.

With Him.

For serving them is truly serving yourself.

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We are all a part of a much bigger purpose. 

Take a moment and reflect on just how many are involved in this event. 

Despite that fact, we are all just bit players, none more important than the other.  Each role that we play in this worldly act can have a tremendous impact on those all around us.   Appreciating and honoring our role in the grand production called “life” and how our performance can help or harm those around us is the true essence of humility. 

Humility is the trait that allows those that serve to lead to raise the level of those around them, by genuinely making it all about them. This is not as easy as it sounds.  This requires letting go – a surrendering of a portion of your self  – so that others may rise to their potential.  It means that you might have to learn to do without something you cherish, so that those around you can have it for themselves. 

“Humility is to make a right estimate of oneself.”

Charles H. Spurgeon

Ultimately, humility is one of the most powerful building blocks of a servant approach to leadership. It establishes a lasting and powerful connection between individuals. And it is through that sustaining linkage, that a powerful bond is not just born, but grown.

A true leader not only understands but embraces the importance and value of those around him.  Everyone has a role to play, and none should be diminished in order to raise another.  Those that need raising cannot be brought up due to whim or fairness. That elevation needs to be earned, and the effort genuinely recognized. 

When it comes to humility, as Pastor Spurgeon offered, much is made of “making the right estimate of oneself”.  What is making the right estimate of one-self?  Does it mean that you should not have confidence in your abilities?  That you should try any less?  That you are not worthy?

No, on the contrary.  It simply means that you recognize your role and that without others – with their varying abilities and talents – you cannot fulfill your true potential.

Thinking of them more never means you think less of yourself.

For serving them is truly serving yourself.

Manure

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We are farmers.

We spend a lifetime occupying our own plot of land. There may be droughts, there might be bumper crops.  But in the end, when it comes time to harvest, the yield is entirely on us.

Now of course, every farmer goes about his business as they are made.

Certain ones may  find ways to extend their growing season beyond that of their neighbor.  Methods will vary from plot to plot.  Some automate while others will choose  “old school” and harness a horse.  An engineered,  hybrid approach will suit one while taking an organic, “back to the earth” approach will become  a better fit for others. Ultimately, you have to be your own farmer.  Be true to yourself.  What may flourish for others may be just weeds for you.

Though seasons, methods,  crops and yield may differ  from field to field, being farmers we all soon share one common trait; expertise at spreading manure.

It may provide a temporary  sudden burst of excitement, color and growth.  It may assuage fear, anxiety or insincerity.  But with the next rain or two, a heat wave or cold spell, it dissipates, burns-out or becomes a stagnant mass, losing both  impact and intensity. Continual applications of manure might make you feel better, but can merely distract you from the truth.

And ruin a crop.

To  make the things  you truly want take root and flourish in your plot requires some discernment.  Patience. Courage. And honesty.  So get to  know every inch of your  acreage. Walk the fence lines over and over and over again. Learn the lay of your land.  Pry up those rocks that work their way out of the ground.  Dig up the stumps.  Know the predators.  Cut back the brush and pull out weeds that can begin to invade, choke and overtake your land.

And spread less manure.

Embrace the nature of your  soil.  Its texture, smell and even taste was made for you. Learn  what grows well and understand what crops will  enrich, invigorate and bring that piece of ground  to an uncommon level of abundance. You cannot grow the same thing year after year and expect the same yield.  In time, the yield  will drop.  The soil will become starved.  And all of a sudden, what was once your staple – will no longer produce.  Your land will become barren.

Spreading more manure won’t bring it back.

So as you begin to blossom, identify the crops that  grow with little effort or attention, harvest them religiously, build up your stores and share the abundance with others.  Attend to the crops that have been planted with the best of intentions but never seem to take root. Get them to grow.  Move things around from season to season.  Rotate. Mix.  Match. Find ways to make all of them thrive together.  Improve your soil, make things truly grow. One  bumper crop after another. Season after season.

Then, as any good farmer does, go easy on the manure.