Tag Archives: life

But theirs.

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Daily writing prompt
Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.
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Since I am involved in coaching, whether it be Special Olympics, job development for those with diverse abilities or good old football, I would have to say the first day of a season or the first meeting with a new associate is the best day. Days that really aren’t ever one and done. But moments that build and transition into other first days.

A first practice allows you to witness the work they have embraced in the off-season, weightroom, classroom, community and home. You get to see what they are beoming, the yearning to take those next steps to become something more for the team. Whether it is a scout, one that comes off the bench, or a leader that never comes off the field. As a coach, you get to help guide them along a path of their choosing. It is you that can help them see something bigger than themselves and then realize that vision.

Then if you remain connected, you can watch them do the same in college and their initial foray into the business world, whether employee or entrepeneur.

A first meeting to discuss job development is in many ways the same. You can learn of the progress they have made in their life despite their challenges. Whether they are at home, or gaining independence within a group community, you can see their excitement to learn, grow and become something more than they ever have been before.

Perhaps they start in the back of a business, learning the ropes. Maybe that gives them all the contentment and growth they need. Others may want to work there way up and out to the front. Filling in for teammates that are out or have elected to move on. Maybe they see themselves becoming the one that opens the door and turns on the lights each day.

It is coaching that takes place on other venues. It is still all about guiding them along a path of their choosing. But if you can see something bigger in themselves than they realize, you get to share that vision with them, and help them to grow into it.

It can be difficult to remember or recall all of the firsts I had throughout my life. But there is truly something to be said to be a part in those of others. For that reason, I am blessed to be able to participate in so many “firsts”.

Not so much mine.

But theirs.

Only if you sing your song.

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Daily writing prompt
Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
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Well, my stage career began and ended with Mr. Tantillo’s 7th & 8th grade Barbershop Music classes at the Hinsdale Junior High School, about 1972 or 3 BC. I had the fortune of singing lead in a quartet that travelled as far as Milwaukee, to share “My Wild Irish Rose” when our turn came up during the program.

Heading out on that proverbial limb, I think it was Russ that sang bass, Mike that was our baritone, and the tenor’s name? Escapes me for now. But when I remember it at 1:43 AM, I will add it in. We usually concluded our concerts with “Good-bye My Coney Island Baby”. Upon retirement when I graduated from junior high, my singing moments were reserved for “Rosalita” in college and are now preserved in the friendly confines of my car with my friends at WXRT or the Drive.

However, since then, I have also been blessed with opportunities to create some of my own melodies in public speaking around the community. My involvement in football as a player and now a coach has afforded me chances to speak to players whether on the field at practice or at other events, share my thoughts with the staff, players and families at weekly high school team dinners and teach coaching concepts at football clinics around the state.

I also became a guest lecturer at a near by college and through my involvement as a mentor for the local Boy Scout troops, provide the earned accolades for soaring as an Eagle at their court of honor. Of late, I have had the chance to share a daily devotional with my new team and explore the spiritual essence of other readings with another close coaching friend of mine.

These daily prompts are such a treasure. They reveal things to me I just did not even consider.

Singing was scary to start. Being out in front of many with three others carrying a tune. But now that I look back, it was a sorely needed source of joy for a young man that pretty much kept to himself. Since some arbitrary test I took in grade school disqualified me from learning an instrument, having the opportunity to just sing was a Godsend. A way to express a passion I had for music. Apart from laying on the living room floor next to the RCA console, reading liner notes and playing records at “11”. Not sure what led me to neglect that path once I went into highschool. Maybe it was football that took front and center.

So the melody I have been able to share in public speaking shares the same source of passion. To articulate feelings, sensations and hopes through words. Not telling anyone what to do or how to do it. But moreso what is to be gained if you surrender yourself to that undertaking without regret. The memories it will create within those moments and for the rest of your life. How fulfilling just leaving it all out there, regardless of the outcome, can be. And is.

And when you can connect with another or others within a sea of faces and lives, you just know it.

The eye contact. The body language. The expression. You sense their presence in your melody. And within you. A feeling of connection and intimacy that just escapes description.

Exactly why you just need to leave it all out there, surrender and dismiss the possibility of regret.

How fulfilling that can and always will be.

Only if you sing your song.

“Meno.”

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I have found great joy in reading the gospel each morning in three different versions, emailed to me overnight. Each provides one with some key insights to ponder for the day to come and really gets those creative juices flowing. As you can probably tell. Presenting me with words I was kind of aware of, thought I understood, but really did not know from Adam.

Sorry. Helps sustain my humerous daddus affliction. But I digress…

This morning in the first reading  of 1 Maccabees 2:15-29, there was a retelling of the enforcement of a king’s apostasy and Mattathias’ reaction.

Akin to the mother and her seven sons and how they chose the after life in lieu of an affirmation of not only a false prophet but false view of life.

I went back to “apostasy” and discovered the origins, the Greek word “apostasia” meaning “defection, rebellion or abandonment”. Recalling my fondness for Etymology class with Mr. Paris in high school back in the 70’s, I went a little deeper. Who knew today would start with some archeology.

“Apostasia” is formed from a prefix “apo” meaning “away from” and the verb “histemi” meaning “to stand”. “Thus, the literal meaning is to stand away from”. 

Since this was first written long, long ago it has taken on a variety of meanings each of which are related to discarding ones faith. At this moment of of my personal reclamation project, however, I prefer to apply it from its original, literal meaning.

“To stand away from”.

My apostasia involves standing away from the ill conceived habits and thoughts that took me away from my true self. Beholding the notion that I had all of the answers and that I could do everything for everybody. Equipped with the double edged sword that is ego, I wounded humility for the sake of pride. All of which simply made me an island, surrounded by an ocean that ebbed with low self esteem and flowed with no forgiveness.

But as I have increasingly sacrificed the tenets of a choices poorly made and a life ill lived, a true fellowship beckons. One that called to the mother and seven sons. One that touched Mattathias and the multitudes of those that have followed. Removing me from a self-designed poverty and enriching me with an altogether serene and peaceful wholeness.

You may not realize it at first, but when you simply let go and stand away from what you were, you can genuinely become what you are meant to be.

My “apostasia” began with moving away from being alone as self-induced outcast. It has since evolved into allowing Him in and truly living.

“Meno”.

It has no peer.

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Adversity may be defined mostly in terms of tangible situations or moments.  But its influence can be especially prevalent in far more subtle contexts.

Like peer pressure. 

To be identified as a potential member of a certain group and gain access to its inner sanctum might be viewed as an extremely important and noteworthy achievement for many people.  No matter one’s age. 

This venture might become so vital as a self-image and identity enhancement that making all the subsequent wrong choices are acceptable expenditures for the meager dividends expected to be earned. 

And the ensuing collateral damage?   Just part of the program. 

Rationalization can become an instinct stronger to one than that of survival. It has the power to transform the known black and white into gradients of reasonable gray. 

For once the quest for inclusion with those peers deemed “most worthy”  overrides doing what is right, judgement is the first thing to be cast aside. And as thoughts, words and finally deeds dissolve into this hue, one can justify, defend and vindicate just about anything. 

Undermining  your better nature. Ignoring what you know is right. 

Even surrendering  character. 

There isn’t  much contrast across the choices spectrum once you cross that threshold. Decisions tend to go only in one direction; from bad, to badder, to baddest. Rationalized as some of the necessary evils that come with  being “one of the boys or girls”.  

The curse that begets those bountiful “blessings of being in”.

Isn’t it strange how people who seemingly have the world by the tail can still feel the tug of the herd.  Despite the overwhelming value of their talents, an abundance of gifts and their inherent good nature, some “thing” seems to be missing.

Efforts at your addition with the approval from the herd, in reality can act as subtraction. A venture that can lead one to the pursuit of  shallow, short-sighted, and oftentimes risky behavior.  Creating a cavity within that only becomes deeper and grows ever wider the farther you get from your true self. 

A brand of adversity that can be a force all its own, speaking from experience. 

 For this form of pressure is one of a kind.

It has no peer.

Undefined Stock photos by Vecteezy

That of life.

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I have long contended that football is the game of life.  Being a player, like all of you, I am familiar with the challenges, discomfort and anxiety that can come with it.  

The challenges of overcoming an opponent or task bigger than you think are. The discomfort that comes along with such a seemingly endless physical, mental and emotional effort whether it be practice or game.  And the anxiety that accompanies not knowing the exact outcome of your work, being unsure you are doing it exactly right, fearing you are not enough and God forbid, you make a mistake. 

Speaking from a common experience, if you play football, you are already living outside of your comfort zone.  In football terms being a resident of the O-Line, some of you are at the first level.  Others have moved towards the second.  Still fewer, the third.  And yet to be conquered, is the 4th level.  

On extremely rare occasions can one go from one to four.  That’s like a lottery ticket.  Perhaps you can get to level three from one, if things are just right.  But more often than not, you cannot skip steps, avoid work and wish your way into achievement.  You need to work your way up and through each one to reach level four.  The end zone.

You see, if you want to achieve the things you truly value and aspire to, you have to get used to being uncomfortable.  Not just in the fall.  But the year round.  You have to commit and fully invest in embracing that sense of being challenged, some sense of discomfort and the anxiety that may accompany being unsure what is going to happen.  

Again, speaking as a football player like you, living out of your comfort zone turns out to be the best place you can be.  It promotes growth, confidence, perseverance, faith  and a chance to become all you were meant to be.  Whether it is school, your first job, college or pursuing your passion, you cannot go from level one to four.  You must find work and make your way up that field, whatever it is.

Doing the things that ultimately take you to life’s end zone.  

So that being said, let me offer a challenge.  

For whatever reason, this one play causes a great deal of angst and worry.  Most likely because it doesn’t give you a definitive assignment like the other plays.  It just calls on you to all move towards the play as one, sealing off the LOS and moving to the second level. Vague I know.  But you run it to perfection against cans in practice.  But against bodies, you shrink, second guess and cringe about making a mistake.  

How about getting out of your comfort zone on this one?  

Better yet, get out of it for the whole game. 

Embrace the challenges, discomfort and anxiety.  I bet you will find that endzone more than a couple of times in those four quarters.  And when all is said and done, you will know that you gave it your all no matter what.  That in itself counts as a win.  

Stands to reason you could go 2-0 on Friday then. 

And keep the winning streak alive in the weeks, months and years to come if you learn the value of being uncomfortable. 

Think about it. 

As you work your way towards another end zone. 

That of life.